


Why I Wake Early

by kathryne



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Lighter than the tags make it sound, Post-Endgame, Roommates, Scars, space trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-26 11:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21373240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathryne/pseuds/kathryne
Summary: Carol grinned down at Hill.  "Here I thought the tortured insomniac look was my thing."In space, no one can hear you angst - except your bunkmate.
Relationships: Carol Danvers/Maria Hill
Comments: 9
Kudos: 56
Collections: Femslash Exchange 2019





	Why I Wake Early

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bookcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookcat/gifts).

> bookcat, thanks for the chance to write a couple of my favourite Marvel ladies together. I enjoyed thinking about what they would have in common and hope you enjoy reading this.
> 
> Thanks to C and C for inspiration and hand-holding.
> 
> This fic takes place after the events of _Spiderman: Far From Home_ and includes a small spoiler for the post-credits scene (not for the film itself). If you don't know what happens in said scene, please see the notes at the end of the fic.

Carol knew something was wrong the moment she opened her eyes.

She was alone – and wasn't it strange, how quickly that had come to feel odd? She'd spent decades in space with the Skrull, Mar-Vell's old ship half-empty because there were so few of them, which she couldn't help still feeling guilty about; the years after the Snap had been even emptier. It had only been a few weeks since Fury and his SHIELD buddies had come aboard, cramming into every nook and cranny of the ship, but already it felt more natural than her solitude ever had.

If she tried, she thought she could remember years of tight quarters and camaraderie, back on Earth. That had probably been back in the Air Force. 

She didn't try to think about her past very often; that usually led to headaches and nightmares, and now she had a roomie who noticed that sort of thing. Harder to hide, but easier, somehow, for Carol to go back to sleep after waking up, when there was someone else already there.

So when Carol shot upright in the middle of the night and all she heard was her own breath bouncing too-loud off the walls and back to her, she knew something was wrong.

"Hill?" she said into the quiet, checking.

Nothing, and Carol forgot what had woken her in favour of this new unease. She'd been sharing a room with Hill for nearly a month and had always woken up to Hill's soft snoring in the other bunk. When Carol switched the light on, it didn't look like Hill had even been in that night.

Carol couldn't hear anything else strange on the ship. They were humming along as planned after dropping Talos and Soren off on Earth; after jumping away, they weren't expecting to be anywhere dangerous for days.

So where was Hill?

For the first time in many nights, Carol slipped out of bed and into the hallway.

The ship was as quiet as it ever was. With several Skrull families still aboard and a small group of SHIELD agents stuffed in at the edges, there were always people up, even when they weren't meant to be. Carol passed a group in the galley, where she smiled and grabbed a cup of real Earth coffee – it wasn't going to last much longer. She waved at but didn't join the group trying to set a new pinball high score. In the hangar, she laid a hand on her favourite shuttle, feeling the seams where she'd repaired it with her own two hands and the heat of her photon blasts. No Hill, though, so she moved on.

She'd thought she might find Hill at a porthole – she kept catching the SHIELD agents, even Fury, staring out at the stars – but when she tracked her down, they were in a windowless room, and Hill wasn't looking anywhere except at the weight dangling over her head.

Carol leaned against the door of the gym and watched for a moment. Hill's back arched, her legs trembled; she strained against the bench, forcing the bar up again, and again, until finally it hung suspended and wouldn't rise, no matter how hard Hill fought.

Then Carol moved, speeding across the gym and grabbing the bar before it could sink back down. She re-racked it with one hand and grinned down at Hill. "Here I thought the tortured insomniac look was my thing."

Hill sat up with a grunt, shaking her arms out. "Thanks for the spot," she said crankily. "I had it."

"Uh-huh." Carol handed Hill the mug of coffee and saw how badly her hands were shaking. "PRs don't count in space."

"The hell they – oh." Hill slumped back. "You're fucking with me."

"Air Force," Carole said unapologetically, sitting down on the bench next to Hill. She let her shoulder bump Hill's, not too hard. Hill leaned back, just a little, but she was still catching her breath and didn't say anything, only gazed down at the mug in her hands.

"It's too cold down here, Hill," Carol said into the silence. "Come back to the room."

Hill actually listened, which only made Carol more concerned.

Once they were in their room, Hill turned. "How'd you know it was me?" she demanded.

"What?" Carol looked around their tiny room, confused. "Who else would you be?"

"Could be just about anyone else on this ship, couldn't I?" Hill looked at her hands wrapped around the coffee cup. She let go with one, examining the palm like she'd never seen it before, and wiggled her fingers at Carol. "I saw a bunch of agents playing guess-the-alien with the Skrulls the other day. They kept failing. Couldn't tell their own colleagues from the shapeshifters. 

"And then yesterday, when Soren was - " She swallowed. "Was me. For a moment, I don't think Nick could tell either." 

Standing suddenly, she shoved the mug back at Carol, startling her into taking a step back. "So how'd you know it was me and not one of the kids messing around? You still don't _know_, do you?"

Oh. Was _that_ what was bothering her. Carol nearly laughed right in her face.

"Hill," she said lightly, "you're unmistakable," but Hill just stood there, mulish, and Carol remembered the phrase that had been drilled into her so many years ago: _the enemy could be you!_

She put the coffee down on their desk and took Hill's hands. Most humans felt cool to her touch, but Hill was still warm from the coffee and the workout she'd been putting herself through. It was a surprisingly nice feeling.

"SHIELD Agent Maria Hill," Carol said, deliberately grandiose. "I have spent thirty-three nights listening to you snore. We're sharing a space smaller than some of the planes I've flown. You wanna know how I can tell you're you?"

Hill snorted a little, but her grip on Carol's hands was tight enough it might have hurt anyone else, and she nodded quickly.

"Okay." Carol took a breath, thinking, bringing to mind all of the things she'd noticed about Hill – Maria – over the last month. "The way you walk. You're always ready to react if something goes wrong. You're always watching the room, keeping tabs on everything."

"Cop eyes," Maria muttered, and Carol shook her head.

"Fighter's eyes."

Maria tipped her head, acknowledging it, and Carol continued. "Your hair," she said, nodding at Maria's messy top bun. At Maria's confused look, she added, "Hair is... not a Skrull strong point. I don't know why." 

That got Maria to chuckle, and Carol smiled. "It confused the younger ones for days when I got mine cut. They'll copy a style, for sure, but they don't do anything new. And I've never seen you leave the room without your hair tied at the nape of your neck." In their room, she wore it loose, but Carol didn't say how much she liked that.

"And look," she said instead. She raised Maria's hands, which she was still holding, up to look at more closely. "Ink in your cuticles from all that report-writing you insist is important." Maria rolled her eyes, and Carol knew they were both remembering all the times she'd come in and made fun of Maria for being curled up in bed with a report form.

"Not to mention..." Carol turned Maria's hands over and ran her thumbs over the calluses at the bases of Maria's fingers. "No Skrull would ever be caught dead bench-pressing _that_ little weight. Nope, you're definitely human – ow!"

She broke off, laughing as Maria snatched her hands back and socked Carol in the shoulder. Maria was laughing, too, at first begrudgingly and then fully giving herself over to it. After a moment, she caught her breath and stepped forward, wrapping Carol up in a hug.

"Thanks," she said, voice muffled against Carol's shoulder. "Between the Skrulls and the – the Snap, it's been a weird year for bodily integrity."

She was aiming for deadpan, but Carol could hear the tremble in her voice and feel the tension still running through her body. Maybe that was what made it possible to be honest.

"I get that," she said, and when Maria pulled back Carol held up one hand, letting her photon blasts sizzle between her fingers. "It sucks."

Maria nodded slowly. "What do you do? When it gets... bad?"

Carol sighed and sat down on her bed, gesturing for Maria to join her. 

"Sometimes the same thing as you," she admitted. "Go out for a flight and find some asteroids to punch. Work it out, you know."

Maria flexed her fingers. "And if that didn't work."

Carol had thrown a soft flannel button-down shirt over her nightwear earlier. Fury had brought it up for her when he moved his SHIELD group in. She thought he'd meant it as a joke, but the joke was on him: they were comfortable. She shrugged it off, leaving her in a grey shell like the one Maria had been working out in, and held her arm out. 

There was a thin scar wrapping around her bicep. She traced it with her finger. "First battle I remember. I wasn't used to my powers yet. Clipped a rock face with a blast and shattered bits everywhere." 

She pulled her leg up on the bed and pointed out a jagged cut on her heel. "Training fuckup." Pushing her loose cotton pantleg up further, she touched a dent on her knee. "Tripped over Goose."

Maria snickered and Carol shrugged. "It helps, if I remember."

Maria wrapped her hand around Carol's ankle, just below a circular scar Carol hadn't mentioned. "And when you don't?"

Her fingers were cool, now, against Carol's skin. Carol reached down and covered the scar, one of several she still had no memory of getting.

Instead of answering, she turned, touching a scar on Maria's shoulder that was half-hidden by her top. 

Maria craned her head over to look. "Barbed wire, basic training."

Carol brushed the hair back at Maria's temple and pressed her thumb to a faint line there.

Maria leaned into her touch, eyes fluttering. "Uh... evil god on a rampage."

"Ah," Carol said, "naturally," and rested her hand on Maria's chest. Maria stilled, but Carol felt her heart rate jump, thundering under Carol's palm. She slid her hand down slowly, asking, waiting. 

Maria's hand covered hers, tugging it down to cup her breast and reveal the two tiny paired scars that had drawn Carol's attention.

"Cranky Chihuahua," Maria whispered, her face alive with mischief, and then she was laughing against Carol's mouth.

They were both laughing, suddenly giddy after so much seriousness, laughing their way through the awkwardness of the first kiss and the second, until Carol pulled back.

She pressed her forehead to Maria's, breathing hard. "Sometimes this," she said.

"Yeah." Maria shrugged, but didn't let go of her grip on Carol's waist. "But this isn’t..."

"No," Carol agreed, bending to kiss Maria's collarbone.

Maria gasped, grabbing a handful of Carol's short hair and tugging, and Carol was more than happy to go where Maria wanted her. Her lips brushed against the two small scars she'd seen earlier and she paused, nipping at the skin next to them.

"A Chihuahua?" she asked.

"Well." Maria laughed again, breathless. "It can't all be saving the world." She tugged at Carol's hair, harder this time, and Carol slid back down her torso. 

No, Carol thought, it couldn't all be saving the world. Sometimes it had to be just living in it.

**Author's Note:**

> In the end credits of _Spiderman: Far From Home_, people we thought were Nick Fury and Maria Hill are revealed to have been two Skrulls from _Captain Marvel_, Talos and Soren.


End file.
